As a new year begins a familiar ritual often unfolds. We scribble down resolutions, and craft plans for a "better us" who will emerge in the new year. We pledge to shed bad habits, conquer lofty goals, and chase ever-elusive dreams. This year, however, I stand resolute – my list lies crumpled in the wastebasket, replaced with gratitude.
2023 was a year that changed my perception of happiness. The relentless pursuit of "more" quickly led to burn out. Perhaps it was the year's uncertainties, or the constant dance with the unknown, either way I knew something had to give.
What emerged from this realization was a profound appreciation for the simple, often overlooked "little things".
This shift wasn't a grand epiphany, it was a gradual shedding of expectations, a quieting of the internal noise, and a deliberate opening to the present moment. In this space, I found gratitude, not as a fleeting sentiment, but as a foundational lens through which I've began to experience the world.
If you, too, feel weary of striving, if the weight of expectations has grown heavy, I highly recommend the book The Gap and the Gain. It has truly transformed my life on every level.
The Gap: This represents the distance between where you are and where you want to be – your ideal, often distant, goals. Focusing on the Gap can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and even paralysis.
The Gain: This represents the progress you've made – the distance you've already traveled on your journey. Shifting your focus to the Gain, measuring yourself against where you were before, cultivates appreciation, motivation, and a sense of accomplishment.
The book argues that most people get stuck in the Gap, chasing external validation and comparing themselves to unattainable ideals. This constant striving can be exhausting and detrimental to personal well-being.
By embracing the gain, we learn to celebrate progress, no matter how small, develop a more internal and self-determined sense of success, cultivate gratitude and find increased resilience in the face of challenges.
If you get the book, let me know, I'd love to talk about it!
So, as I turn the page on another year, I'm setting aside the relentless pursuit of "more" and instead I will continue to cultivate gratitude.
